Somebody stole one of our bags of compost.
May bindweed infest their allotment. May eelworm consume their potatoes. May the carrot fly riddle their plot with maggots. May mice make great holes in their pumpkins. May caterpillars fill their cabbages, and may their tomatoes be blackend with blight.
I wonder if there is a chemical which, when mixed with compost, makes anything growing in it turn blue? I must find out.