Is it safe to leave the house?

I have decided to revive our allotment blog. Some recent events have made this essential:

1. My friend Jo told me to.

2. My friend Jo and I are writing an album of comic songs about vegetable cultivation, which means I suddenly have something to blog about when it's raining.

3. Our plot is slowly being taken over by trees. Trees we're not allowed to cut down. I am devising a scheme to persuade the One Tree Hill Allotment Society to give us a plot that is sunnier.

4. The Daily Mail has just launched an allotment blog, and I want to compete, because my readers are nicer.

Tomorrow I shall visit our allotment, and report back on the devastation.